Knee Vocabulary

#ihs n. 1. One of the wildest chatrooms in IRC. [Origins: Jim, Ben, Kaho, and Tom used #ihs as an avenue to exchange computer-related information, however, hot_sushi and knee soon took over and turned the boring room into a haven where sexual repression had no place. Other notable members of the ~~sex~~ chatroom include: topanga, worfina, tenisfrk, aziwoqpd, zopper, tuxedomsk, rootdown, spazmatik, and kloner.]

#teen n. 1. A chatroom for desperate teenagers (or people who are just desperate for teenagers) to let out their sexual aggression in the form of "innocent" cybersex. 2. A chatroom that only Tom admits to going to. 3. A place for Tom to find young girls to go on Mammoth adventures with. [Origins: Tom got a room up in Mammoth, but had not secured companions to ski with him. Not wanting to waste the money, he searched long and hard for #teen girls to accompany him, but to no avail. I have no idea what else Tom does in that room, and if I did, my server probably wouldn't let me put it up.]

AIM n. 1. AOL Instant Messenger; allows aolers and non-aolers to communicate. 2. An addictive chat program: I stayed up until 5am talking on aim and now I have an essay due in two hours. [Origins: Long, long, long ago, prior to the summer of '97, Ben discovered AIM, and so began the internet craze. Soon, word spread far and wide about this miraculous program until the whole of IHS was cast under its hypnotic spell.]

Anatomia n. 1. One of the classic boardgames in which you compete with up to four cool friends to see who knows the names of more body parts. [Origins: Finding ourselves at Kneepers' house with nothing to do and none of us wanting to go home, Kneepers suggested the fun-filled antics of Anatomia. Pretty soon, the game became so popular that Kneepers had to make a sign-up list for those ambitious enough to challenge her at body-naming. (Well, maybe this wasn't quite how it turned out, but my memory fades...)]

AP boy n. 1. Description used to identify the skinny, nerdy, socially awkward, sexually repressed, computer/chess obsessed, yet endearing boys of the AP class: I love my AP boys [Origins: Lounging in #ihs on a Friday night, Worfina and Knee began to complain of the lack of quality male flesh amongst the Irvine population. Attributing the fact to the intellectually grand, yet phsically dinky character of AP-ness, a new term was coined.]

Bubble n. 1. Irvine, California. 2. The sheltered, aristocratic, boring, and 3^rd most safe city in the United States: "Why do we do nothing but rent movies from Blockbuster each night?" "Because we live in the Bubble." [Origins: With the luxuries of recycling programs, gardeners, huge streets with 55 mph limits, every highschool teenager owning their own car, perfectly upkept buildings, and sheltered from the horrors of crime and entertainment, we couldn't help but compare Irvine to Seinfeld's bubble boy that was completely protected and pampered in his little tiny bubble world.]

Burlesque de Jess n. 1. A subdivision of IPR. The members of Burlesque de Jess are all bandos. First Member to be initiated was our very own freshman, Wet Grapes (Emily Nafius). [Origins: Established in 1997 by Nasty Girl.]

Catfish n. 1. Phillip's nickname in reference to his moustache: "Do you know where Catfish is?" "He's probably in the music room." [Origin: Jonathan sat at the same AP Government table as Phil and was constantly distracted by his moustache. One day he started a petition for Phil to shave off his catfish. Phil, as expected, had no opinion towards the whole thing. Jon eventually thought better and threw the petition with all its signatures into the garbage.]

check your mail v. 1. To masturbate: Cynthia went home to check her mail. [Origins: Cynthia, Erwin, and Kneepers were at Kneepers' house hanging out. All of a sudden, Cynthia got up and left saying she had to "check her mail." Surprised at the abruptness of her departure, Kneepers said, "What, are you gonna go home to masturbate or something?" In shock and horror, Cynthia threw a shoe at Kneepers while Er and Kneepers rolled on the floor laughing.]

Chess Cheer n. 1. Cheer squad consisting of Cathy Dao, Nasty Girl, Rko, Er, Lisa Park, and Lisa Satin which cheered on the IHS Chess team in tournaments against our crosstown rival, University High; activities include making posters and hammering the motto that no matter who's better at chess, IHS chess boys are WAY sexier than UHS chess boys: Maybe if the Chess Cheer flashes Uni, IHS Chess will have a chance of winning." [Origins: Romping off to the Chess Tournament against Uni after the Hindu Monastery, Er, Cathy, LP, Lisatin, and Jess cheered the beloved AP boys on, beginning a new tradition.]

crew n. 1. Kneepers, Erwin, and Cynthia in high school: The crew went to Spectrum to watch a movie. [Origins: Noticing the abundance of time the three spent together, Kaho began describing them as the "crew."]

Cybernails for Men n. 1. The growing massage and manicure parlor owned and operated by Kneepers and HotSushi: Jim Perry's stunning toe nails were the work of Cybernails.. [Origins: One night, Ryoko and Kneepers were bored and didn't know what to do. Seeing Ryoko's nail polish in the corner, Ryoko and Kneepers took a look at each other, then took a look at Kaho, Hasani, and Jim. Before anyone knew what was going on, Kaho had neon green nails with baby blue trim, Hasani had metallic blue nails with silver trim, and Jim had metallic red nails with gold trim.]

CW n. 1. Cyber Whore 2. Kneepers' IPR identity: CW raked in a lot of cash cybering with lonely IRC boys last night. [Origins: On one of those especially wild nights in #ihs with Rko, Lisa Park, Jim, Kaho, and Ben, Rko decided that cyber whore would be a most fitting description of Kneepers.]

dink n. 1. A nicer form of dork: Oh my god, you're being such a dink. [Origins: Tired of hearing "dork" all of the time from Cyn, Er decided employ the word "dink" to describe stupid people.]

Er n. 1. Nickname for Erwin Conrad Tan Ong: "Goddammit, Er, why don't you have a car?!?" 2. Interjection to indicate a mistake: Er, I mean "she" not "me." 3. Expression of aggravation: ERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

fondle knees v. 1. To visit the page of one of the knees on Kneepers' website: Jessica can't stop fondling her knees. [Origins: Kneepers' demented mind used the knee fetish analogy to describe the obsessive visits of Jessica and Ryoko to her webpage.]

fuckwittage n. 1. Emotional baggage: She has a lot of fuckwittage to get over. 2. All the shit that men do to women. [Origins: Jessica's favorite word of the week that she saw while reading Joan's Diary.]

goldfish n. 1. A tasty snack by Pepperidge Farms. Favorite delicacy of Kneepers: Goldfish are nummy [Origins: Toting along her orange-red tupperware, Kneepers would offer the real cheese, baked-not-fried taste of goldfish to her very special friends.]

Guardian Munchkin n. See Potty Training Kelly

Horny Hut n. 1. The roofed area between the music room, the large gym, and the phys ed building--a place most of us wouldn't be caught dead in due to the large number of Freshmen playing Magic there: Oh God, they're making out in the Horny Hut. [Origins: Constantly subjected to the sight of horny lowerclassmen playing Magic and chasing after each other, citizens of Irvine High began calling the roofed area "Horny Hut."]

Huygens n. 1. The physics mouse of S-4, Mr. Wada's room: Oh my, Huygens is a she? Look at all those little Huygens scampering around. [Origins: One day, one of Mrs. Elliot's mice escaped from her room and ran into Mr.Wada's room while he was teaching physics. Quite an uproar ensued until Mr. Wada caught the little creature and placed it in its new glass house.]

IPR n. 1. Formerly, Irvine Prostitution Ring. Now known as the International Prostitution Ring: The Irvine Police Department hired some IPR girls for the new officer's initiation bash. [Origins: Junior year in high school, the Ring started with Nanette Lai as "The Pimp" and Jess as "Nasty Girl" in Honors Spanish 3 with Peronto. A year later, Burlesque de Jess was established.]

IRC n. 1. Alternative chat program to ICQ and AIM: "I'm sorry, I can't go out tonight, I have to be on to IRC all night." [Origins: #ihs first began in early junior year when Jim and Kaho, before the arrival of AIM and ICQ, wanted an easy way to communicate with each. Soon abandoned due to lack of interest and participation, #ihs was later revived with the coming of aziwoqpd, kloner, blob, and tuxedomsk. Later, Jim created Bimbo, the IRC bot to make #ihs home to bored teenagers in the Bubble.]

jimnosperm n. 1. In reference to James Wearn Perry. [Origins: In AP Biology, when everyone was learning about gymnosperm...well, you get the picture.]

Kimi Kamaleen n. 1. Nickname for Kim. [Origins: A little known nickname that Tran sometimes uses to annoy the hell out of Kim. Based on a sanrio character.]

knee identity n. 1. Your name. [Origins: Again, it's Tran's demented mind at work turning innocent things like your name into questionable aliases.]

KPM n. 1. Er's Street Name, short for Kung Pao Manila: "I'd like some Kung Pao Manila tonight, how much will it be?" [Origin: As the first IPR pimp-in-training, the ring decreed Erwin to be "KPM." ("kung pao" meaning "hot" and Manila, where Er is from.)]

Lewd and Vulgar Scrabble n. 1. A new twist on the old game of scrabble in which the only valid words are R-rated for adult content: There aren't nearly enough "K's" to make lewd and vulgar words. [Origins: Again, at Kneepers' house and very bored, Phil, Tran, Jess, Rko, and Cyn (well, maybe not Cyn) decided to play a game. Scrabble was always a favorite, but, being the nasty teenagers we are, we decided to add some spice to the classic boardgame. From that day, Lewd and Vulgar Scrabble was born.]

Lithy n. 1. The combination of Lisa Park and Cathy Dao into one super virtual female entity: "What should we make Lithy do, tonight?" [Origins: In the early days of IRC, when #ihs was a forum for role-playing games, Jonathan So created Lithy for the pleasure and entertainment of himself, Kaho, and Ben. Logging on with the nick, "Lithy," Jon would offer massages and lead his fellow IRC friends on adventures.]

masturbation n. 1. A subject of fascination and much discussion: "Kim, do you masturbate?" 2. Incrementing the counter on your page by excessively fondling your own knees: "Why are Rko's knees so popular?" "Oh, it's probably masturbatory." [Origins: For the first definition, I said that exact sentence in Mr. Kane's class to Kim. Kane was out of the room doing Japanese Internment, so the whole class was chatting and gossiping. Me, Jess, Phil, and Kim were just talking at our table when I asked that question. The whole class fell silent and stared at me. Jess and Phil were laughing hysterically and Kim refused to answer. The second definition can be fully explained by my tale of Knee Rivalry]

NastyGirl n. 1. One of Jess' names: NastyGirl demanded Rko to "Get down on the floor!!" [Origins: In Pre-Calc, Nanette took a look at Jess' short short skirt which was made even more revealing by being hitched quite high. From then on, Jess was famed throughout IHS as NastyGirl.]

Pongo n. 1. A horny, pathetic boy that spends his time cybering in #teen on IRC: Pongo unclasps your bra with his teeth. [Origins: Kneepers, Rko, and Er were REALLY REALLY bored one night and since #ihs was completely dead, we decided to go into #teen. We met a charming young man named Pongo and began a private chat in our own separate chat window...]

Potty Training Kelly n. 1. The munchkin guardian that protects over Kneepers and does harm to Cyn: "Cyn, you better stop that or I'll tell Potty Training Kelly." [Origins: Cynthia and Kneepers were at South Coast Plaza and Cyn was complaining endlessly about her life's woes. She suggested that her guardian angel must be really lazy and allows a bunch of crap to happen to her, only intervening to keep Cyn alive. Knowing that I had no "angel" to look after me, I said, "Well, my guardian munchkin looks diligently after me..." As we passed the Barbie shop near FAO Shwartz, we found the perfect embodiment of my munchkin: a Potty Training Kelly doll, play pal to Barbie.]

Rko n. 1. Kneepers' shorthand for Ryoko: "Where's Rko? I need her to schedule a Cybernails appointment." 2. Really kinky orgasm: Kneepers' website gave Rko a RKO [Origins: First definition came from Kneepers laziness when typing out Ryoko's name on IRC and AIM. Second definition comes from the RHPS.]

Security Bard n. 1. Jon's official title in the Chess Club: "Someone tell the security bard that his songs keep getting lousier and lousier." [Origins: When Mr. Wada had the class write songs for AP Chemistry, Jonathan had by far the strangest song. Since Jonathan was lobbying Harsha to give him an official position in the Chess Club where Harsha was president, he decided to give Jon the official title of Chess Club Security Bard.]

Spaceboy n. 1. Nathan Benedict's nickname: "I would've gotten an A on the Physics test if Spaceboy hadn't set the damn curve so high." [Origin: Jonathan was extremely bored in his Driver's Ed class, so he started drawing a comic strip relating the misadventures of Nathan in outer space. He called the Nathan character Spaceboy. After showing the comic to Harsha, Harsha started referring to Nathan as Spaceboy whenever he could, and the name stuck.]

work v. 1. To offer services (sexual and non-sexual) to lonely men out in the Bubble: "Are you working tonight?" "Yeah, I have my shift from midnight 'til 5 on Walnut and Culver" [Origins: IPR]